Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize