I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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