sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Farmville is her only friend.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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