He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
