I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
