"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I need to calm my uterus...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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