I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
