if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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