saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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