these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
