The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
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