whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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