I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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