my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
