we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
