if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
