You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
