he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
