Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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