The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
