Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
