Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
