I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize