I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
