JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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