Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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