i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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