She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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