just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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