Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My life is pants optional.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize