we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
