if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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