i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We are two peas in an std pod
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
