she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
