My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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