I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
