this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
