So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
