sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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