Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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