I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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