I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
