ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Randomize
