The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
and she was petting her beer can
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
