He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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