i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
