Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need water and some morals
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
