You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
