so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize