so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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