Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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