Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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