ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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