I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
