Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
