i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize