Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
