sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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