do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i believe in u and ur pee
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
